My forthcoming book, The True is about how the ghosts of my past saved me from a global con. (The book launches on October 28th, 2021 in English and Romanian.)
That sounds strange, right? Well, no stranger than what happened. In 2018 my lover and dear friend, Alexandru “Ducu” Darie, a beloved theater director in Bucharest, Romania was very ill. He would not tell me he was sick. He would not say goodbye, for he was dying. So, I started to use social media to try to find out what was wrong with him. This was my first mistake. I should have demanded the truth, but you see, the lie of social media made me feel safe, made me convinced that everything was the reality I yearned for.
I spent two years searching for the reason for Ducu’s death. His “girlfriend” (who I met on social media) convinced me there was a conspiracy, and then all hell broke loose. What makes us fall for lies? What makes us believe those who con? What did Trump and global corruption have to do with any of this?
Everything. It had everything to do with it.
We are living in a time where the truth matters last. We present ourselves in a way that makes us feel like a projection of who we really want to be. And, under the Trump administration, the very essence of the truth (you know, facts and logic) were cast aside for a narrative that led us in circles around reality. If you break down how we are learning to trust lies as truth it’s a pretty scary picture.
Here is what I did wrong:
I really believed that people were real people on Social Media — no one is real “there” (it’s not even a place!)
I really believed that my grief was something I could “share” in a meaningful way — nope, grief is private
I didn’t understand how deeply corruption was part of the currency of my country, and most of the world, fueled by social media — if you think your country is free of corruption guess again.
And who was “Anya”? Who was this girlfriend of his who brilliantly convinced me of Ducu’s fate, legal courts for artists, contracts with Netflix, and a book? In the end, I still have no idea — but she is a metaphor for the world today: pictures of a life on Instagram, promises of freedom and fame through tweets and emails, a never-ending story of how life is better “over there” because we are disconnected from our own meaning.
Once I took the “red pill” and woke up to the fact that I was in a con, I actually felt a deep sense of relief. I had burned down my own “house” and found that at my foundation was my soul, my true feelings and I could see I had been asleep at the wheel.
In the end, the memory of what it was like for me to grow up in the theater (another place of illusion) gave me the grounding to accept reality. But, I guess you need to read the book (on Amazon and in bookstores soon) — please let me know what you think, and I hope my story supports your relationship with the truth — it’s so much better than a lie.
Cover design by Maria Miu